You know how the kid in THE SHINING keeps saying ‘red rum, red rum’ and at first you’re all w.t.f. until he writes it on the wall and it’s reflected in the mirror and it reads mur der and you’re like, omigod, AHHHHH!!!? Well, it’s exactly the same with Poseur. All you have to do is flip the ‘p’ upside down, mix the letters around, and…

pOSEUR

CURSEd

I know! Are you totally freaked out?!

Okay, fine. You have to change the O into a C to make it work but, whatev. The world would be a much better place if C’s were O’s, in my humble opinion, because then I’d get to be all, “I’m an oat person,” and, “um, I’m sorry, but Matthew MoOonaughey is so not oute,” and, “My name is Raohel, and I’m an alooholio.”

Anyway.

C’s and O’s aside, Poseur really is cursed. Check out Poseur #1, page 72:

“Janie glanced up at the guy standing directly next to her. He looked like a less grumpy version of Heath Ledger, one of Janie’s absolute favorite actors.”

When I wrote that line? Heath Ledger was alive. In the month it was published? He died.

Poseur #3, page 71:

“Stage?” Melissa piped up, eyes shining. As with any exhibitionist, the word “stage” had a near physical effect on her. Like saying “open bar” to an alcoholic, or “playground” to Michael Jackson.”

When I wrote that line? Michael Jackson was alive. In the month it was published…?

You’re catching on.

The day after MJ beat it, I called my editor. I was like: Remember how I wanted to name my book, “Skinny Jean is Not My Lover”? How insensitive would it have been to publish a book called “Skinny Jean is Not My Lover,” like, the day Michael Jackson died? Ha! Good thing I named it Petty in Pink, right? After the seminal eighties movie, Pretty in Pink, directed by John Hughes, who… is not… who… um…

That’s right. HE WENT AHEAD AND DIED, TOO.

I know.

I know.

Totally.

Freaky.

This is the thing: I LOVE Heath Ledger. I LOVE Michael Jackson. I LOVE John Hughes. If I had my way they would live FOREVER. Also if I had my way they would live together… so I could move in with them. Yeah, at first we’d fight because we’d have nothing in common, but then we’d discover a shared passion for fashion, put our differences aside, and start a fashion label!!!

Heath Ledger: The Hippie Goddess

Michael Jackson: The Cool Coquette

John Hughes: The Shy Punk

Rachel Maude: The Ghetto-Glam Egomaniac

Agh! Agh! What could have been.

Anyway.

From now on I promise only to mention celebrities whose lives I personally consider expendable. Which is actually really hard because celebrities kind of deserve to live more than other people.*

xoxo

* With the possible exception of Matthew MoOonaughey.